Black Lives Matter

Terrifying. 

The amount of respect that the justice system has for African American lives is next to nothing. In the 21st century people want to believe that racism does not exist simply because slavery was abolished. But, don't be too quick to speak as there are parts of the word in which women and children remain enslaved and genocides take place everyday. That gets swept under the matt though because we, Americans, talk a good game. We stand for "equality." After all this is the "land of the free," so they want us to believe. Don't get me wrong though. I was brought up not to see color. Well educated on my heritage - but never to discriminate or look down on anybody; let alone depreciate another life. I treat you how you treat me regardless of your ethnicity. But I can't sit here and act like race does not still play a role in everything that occurs today. From the opportunities made available to you, to the looks you get when you enter an establishment. We have no justice system. What is just about taking 100 days to charge an officer for the murder of a teenager? Somebody's son. It scares me to know that I am growing up in a world where I know I can have my life taken from me any moment at the hands of those who are supposed to be protecting me. Not only am I young, but I am black which puts me at risk of being accused of any and everything no matter what the evidence states. I wake up praying none of my family members or friends will be next on the news. Born to lose, but I am built to win. 14 year old Emmett Till was accused of whistling at a white woman in a grocery store and was later found brutally beaten, shot in the head, and dumped in a body of water in Chicago, Illinois. An all white jury acquitted his killers. The men later confessed to the crime and even wrote a book. In 2012, 17 year old Trayvon Martin was murder after a man labeled him a "suspicious person" and decided that he no longer deserved to live. Florida's "Shoot First" law protected George Zimmerman. Not to mention Eric Garner who was strangled on tape by police officers, they remain free as well. Now here we are in 2015 still mourning the loss of 18 year old Michael Brown and others. These are only the stories that make the news. How many mothers have to bury their children before White America realizes we matter too? We will never be equal.

Rest in peace angels. You will never be forgotten. 

Late night thoughts

I feel a thousand emotions a day- 

some even at the same time. 

so how is it I feel everything yet nothing at the same time? 

I'm numb. 

and I brush a lot of shit off. 

but somehow I still find myself soaking pillow case after pillow case

flipping sides restlessly at night when one side gets too damp.

caging in my tears. 

they are prisoners in my body,

yet they continue to escape.

guess I'm not so numb after all,

right? 

right.

pink barrettes and extravagant parties
she had it all. 
a loving family;
bubbly personality. 
you could always count on her smile.
but the love was never reciprocated
and the world got colder.
here today and gone tomorrow
loved ones dropped like flies.
why? 
God was obviously punishing her. 
looking in the mirror beginning to question her existence.
she held a tiny spot embedded in her soul; 
insecurity. 
considered "dark-skinned" by "friends" in their eyes
despite the fact that she had pretty fair skin. 
but, no longer satisfied with mommy telling her “sweetheart, you’re beautiful.” 
lies. 
lonely cries. 
long nights.
she changed.

Food 4 Thought

The fact of the matter is that we're chasing dreams that society has made unattainable. We are convinced to strive for college in the hopes of  having a brighter future and an abundance of opportunities. But, the truth is they make money off our false hope. What kind of world are we living in? The saddening reality that no matter how badly a young man or woman wants to go to college, grad school, get a masters, etc. For some; they will never have those opportunities based solely off their financial circumstances. Something completely out of their control. Then people have the nerve to turn their noses up to teens who don't plan on going to college, most likely because they know know they won't be able to afford it. So all your life they "prepare" you for your future. Proper test taking skills, good study habits, prep classes; all to get into "the school of you dreams". The schools that more than half of us can't and will never be able to attend. A good education is the key to a career and a nice salary. But what happens to the individuals who never make it to college, for whatever the reason may be? A high school diploma does not get you far. They get stuck with jobs making minimum wage that doesn't allow them to support themselves, let alone a family. Rent doesn't stop on account of that. Tax collectors don't care, that's a personal problem. The government strives off our pain. We are the future and that's what scares me the most. 

L.C

#YesAllWomen

Yes all women because friends should not abuse their place as just that, friends. Because stop requires no further explanation. Because agreeing to hang out with somebody does not imply anything more. Because women are humans and not objects placed on this Earth for any man's entertainment. Because shorts are not an invitation for hands to follow. Because she begged you to stop and you didn’t. Because being under the influence is no excuse to be taken advantage of. Because having a good time is not a sexual innuendo. Because sitting in the shower crying, scrubbing and regretting it is not how she should spend days. This is not a joke or to be taken lightly. She didn’t ”ask for it” or want you. Fear is paralyzing. She shouldn’t be blaming herself for you being a pig. Too afraid to speak up. Because wrong is wrong.

Contradictions

Beauty. A quality present in someone or something which pleases the mind through your senses. The high spiritual qualities one may posses. The sweet serenity that caresses and allows the mind to reach its ultimate highs. Character, actions and thoughts are supposed to be what define the word and it's entirety, however society's powerful influence has became the voice of reason in which we have come to believe dictates everything. The longing to "fit in" and  be apart of the crowd controls the minds and contradicts what we've been taught all our lives. "Be yourself". What does that mean when the media portrays I am not good enough. Trends define who I'm supposed to be now. If I'm not trying to be vintage, my style is basic. If I'm not a skinny model, I'm unnatractive. If I'm not calling myself a misfit, I'm not down right? If I'm not trying to be a hipster then I'm not cool. The need to feel accepted seems to outweigh the need to be who we really are. Even now, some people only listen to certain artists to seem dope when in all actuality, it's just a game of follow the leader. So for now, I will continue to listen to the music I love not only for inspiration but to escape the walls of the corrupt world I've been raised in. What the man says does not exist in my parallel universe of which gives me freedom. The freedom to be me; a beautiful searching soul.